With Dick Loverboy currently floating down the river, the guys were not able to record an episode this week. But, in its place, you are getting something very special: the most recent episode of Heads or Cocktails, Mr. Loverboy’s other passion project. Listen as Adam, Jack, and Jeremy engage in a battle of wits and of livers at Little Kings in a truly valiant attempt to earn the coveted title of Heads or Cocktails Champion.
The guys come out swinging pretty hard on this one. Apparently, Dr. Seuss is a racist, as is Jesus. The guys debate whether it is okay to be racist with children. Rett gives a Masked Singer update and reveals his secret New Years Resolution. They discuss the Cohen hearing and the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates. There is talk of free will and the multiverse. TJ gives some parenting insight, and the guys talk about getting old. Jon gives a Crawford water quality update. They discuss the Oscars, and the Reverend Florist is tired and mean.
The guys open with the dulcet tones of Terry Bradshaw and close with a lament for the upcoming loss of Michael Jackson’s entire catalog. And in between, they talk about Jussie Smollett, Robert Kraft, Theranos, Brody Stevens, Pen15, Russian Doll, The Sopranos, Heads or Cocktails, gerbils and guinea pigs, the village at the Special Olympics, MAGA hats, top hats, and R. Kelly. Also, Jon wonders whether he is offendable, and TJ makes Jon lose it.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Survivors. Rett has shame. TJ hates Valentine’s Day but apparently loves minefields. Jon gets farted on in Bells again. There is talk of taint massage, Bill Cosby, Mr. Rogers, and Jeff Bezos’ penis. The guys ponder blackface and celebrate National Cheddar Day.
The guys gather for their first show of 2019. Jon and Rett recall the recent Crash Test Dummies show, the guys review some New Years resolutions, and they talk about the recent vegetative pregnancy in the news. They discuss Below Deck, Ted Bundy, and the Fyre Festival documentaries. Rett shares a nude pic, Jon shares some Werner Herzog, and they take a trip to Murder Mountain.
The guys gather for their final show of 2018, debate this year’s best guest, and get one last Stephen King update from Rett. They talk about boogers and poots, dogs, and the dynamics of a good dick slap. They remember Penny Marshall, poorly, and talk about the Crash Test Dummies, New Year’s Eve plans, and almost pooping oneself. They listen to the “Let Me Be Frank” video, remember the greatness of the recent Basketball Team show, and talk about trashbags full of whippits. Rett shares some Crunk House stories, and they guys look onward toward 2019.
Dick Loverboy, Rev Flo, and Lil Skweeque return for a very special Christmas episode. Jon plugs the upcoming Basketball Team show on December 22. The guys revisit the SEC Championship and discuss whether Baby Skweeque is going to be lied to about Santa Claus. They share fond memories of Christmas morning and He-Man. The Great Poo Controversy rages on as Jon continues to try to defend his honor. They discuss “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”, Breaking Bad, and Saturday morning cartoons. There is talk of underwear and the fact that an inordinate number of disgusting sexual maneuvers are inextricably and proudly linked to the great state of Ohio.
TJ is sick. Jon has dry skin. The guys make SEC Championship predictions and talk about wombat feces. They discuss The Last Jedi, UHF, Strange Brew, Logan’s Run, and Kathy Bates’ bush. They debate the merits of rail-gunning trash into the sun and come up with a new Burger King slogan. And TJ gets a new nickname.
The guys gather once more to talk about 7-11 socks, Thanksgiving plans, and memories of Opryland. They have another timely discussion of the Georgia gubernatorial race and some UGA football. Rett finally reveals his platform and talks about campers and portable toilets. They discuss Homecoming, Breaking Bad, and the Bum Bag. And somewhere, a deaf kid farts…loudly.
Ah, remember those magical days between Halloween and Election Day? Well, that is when this episode was recorded. The guys talk about Rett’s new work dog, Pete’s Dragon, and Gene Kelly’s butt. They revisit Vaginas vs Buttholes. There is discussion of Owen’s recent Behind the Dial comedy show at Wayward. Jon attacks Republicans, Rett attacks feminists, and TJ speaks for all women. They discuss whether the lips match the nips, and they debate whether one can have too many coozies.
Rett drinks brown liquor, gives an Alchemy update, and tells the story of the best ground score ever. TJ hates thieves, and apparently, Jon sometimes. TJ and Jon offer a UFC 229 recap. Rett’s wife can’t vote, so the guys discuss some politics and voter suppression. Rett gives a Wild Rumpus update and then talks some Stephen King. And finally, the guys discuss whether or not Georgia Republican gubernatorial candidate Brian Kemp steals Mexican kidneys.
The guys finally make their triumphant return to the original Bunker and find it to be both newly-renovated and extremely chill. There is talk of The New Day, soggy waffles, and yard shoes. They recap UGA football and talk about Referee James Carter, and they discuss the recent Primus show. Rett gets ready for the Alchemy burn, and Jon laments the loss of pimiento cheese Krystals. Then the guys sit back, get relaxed, and talk about their happy places. Bill Cosby is going to jail. Rett reveals his Star Crunch knowledge. TJ talks about belly buttons and buttholes.
The guys welcome Henry Mitchell III back to The Bunker once again for what may be record-breaking episode. They spend some time discussing Loverboy for Sheriff 2020, and Henry announces his intention to run for Mayor of Athens in 2024 and President sometime after that. The guys debate UGA vs Ohio State, get a Stephen King update, and talk about some movies, including an unusual take on Star Wars from Rett. They argue about the best Mario Kart characters and discuss whether Donald Trump is the President that America deserves right now. Henry tells tales of racism. Rett educates Henry on Ketamine. They talk about bicycle speed records, bike lanes, the African American hair situation, and Paul Flart. Then, the Browns actually win a football game, and that kicks off a discussion of quite possibly one of the most unusual bets ever devised.
TJ reveals some unusual information about his infant daughter. The guys come up with a Beef n Cheddar / Adult Diaper Challenge. Jon runs on fumes and offers raccoon mystery updates. Rett updates on his stay-cation and offers input on turf grass management. The guys talk about Hurricane Florence and pig shit lagoons. Jon talks about the ACC PD town hall meeting and drops some breaking news. Rett announces his candidacy for Sheriff. The guys talk about buffets, debate Jesus Christ or Michael Jordan, and discuss the recent Serena Williams incident. Rett and TJ both share stories of being ejected from intramural sports. And TJ talks about college.
Rett returns with stories of home repair and entertaining his family on game day. He also accuses Rush Limbaugh of having a little raisin prostate. The guys talk about the Nike/Colin Kaepernick controversy and the fact that Louis CK is back. Jon offers an impeachment correction. The guys ponder whether they have an HR department and mourn the loss of Burt Reynolds. There is talk of college football and UGA in particular. Indiana decriminalizes gay sex. Jon has a raccoon mystery. TJ talks about the mechanics of breastfeeding, and Rett digs a trench.
For this very special episode, Pigroast and The Reverend Florist get together for the first time without their dear friend and co-host, Dick Loverboy. They talk about Trump, I Am a Killer and Ex Machina (both available on Netflix), and some upcoming movies. Jon explains the logistics of smacking himself in the balls and talks about his most recent standup set. There is some talk of delicious breakfast and some upcoming restaurant changes in Athens.
For this very special episode, the guys welcome Owen Hunt aka Bootsy Greenwood to the New Bunker for some discussion of his podcasts, his comedy, and the fact that he is a spiritual junky. They ponder methods of making love to the world, discuss some movies, and talk about the glyphosate cancer trial verdict. They give respect to the Hartwell grandmother who choked a rabid bobcat to death with her bare hands, and they talk about the recent Oklahoma pony incident and the guy who stole an airplane in Washington as part of one of the best suicides ever. Rett loses his grandfather's trailer. Owen talks about Reality Transurfing and boofing jankum. Rett talks trash about Taco Bell, drops an SSG, and gives his formal opinion on women shitting their pants.
This episode starts out with some peeing and some pooping. Then there is some air travel and drug use, some news, and some wallet comparison. The guys talk about their friend Todd, collapsible straws, squeeze sour cream, and proper hydration. Jon complains about the Chick n Fix, again. Rett tells his knife story. TJ talks about some home improvement. There is talk of the upcoming Stone Mountain implosion, Arby's, and what a fat piece of shit Jon is. And, RIP Nikolai Volkoff.
The guys get together in the New Bunker to wish their friend Chris a fond farewell and to briefly discuss the Georgia gubernatorial race. Rett recommends the show "Who is America?" Jon asks a Caddyshack question. They discuss how much money it would take to just walk away, ponder the idea of Jon in a cheap werewolf costume, and discuss the possibility of doing a coke-cast. Jon recommends the HBO Robin Williams documentary and talks about a bearded lady at the library. They discuss the origins of some episode titles. Jon talks about doing standup...twice. They end up with some talk of UFC, professional wrestling, and a stirring debate over which is nastier, Mick Foley's feet or Mick Foley's balls. And TJ gets himself kicked off Twitter.
God, it has been a while. The guys gather in their new second bunker for all of that nonsense that you have come to know and love. Rett laments the loss of Justice Anthony Kennedy, and the guys discuss lip tattoos, meteor mining, and cupcakes for gay people. They talk about the Space Force and wonder if John Glenn is dead. They mourn the loss of Anthony Bourdain, and debut a new segment called Big Talk with Pigroast. Rett shares his recent magazine articles and gives his review of The Elephant Man. Jon signs up for an open mic. Rett admits to putting his own penis in his mouth, and the guys wonder if gay is funnier when it is between dudes.