Once again, your fearless hosts gather in The Bunker to talk about fast food breakfast and the fact that TJ's wife is about to have a child. Rett gets stitches. Jon complains about fake news. The guys talk about North Korea, new baby stench, and blowjob robots. Rett takes a bit of a turn around minute 59. Then, for unknown reasons, Jon brings up Chris Benoit, and Rett brings up Cropsy.
The guys gather in The Bunker and celebrate Jon's birthday the best way they know how: by drinking delicious Irish whiskey. There is talk of movies, Bill O'Reilly, and Monkey Girl. Rett gives a leadership speech and contemplates starting a religious cult. There is a contest. Rett points out that Jon has a big fat head, and there is talk of uncircumcised snacks. TJ brings up Aaron Hernandez's suicide, which of course leads to talk of the Cosby show, which in turn takes us to pivotal moments in history. TJ talks about doing acid and tells stories. Rett talks about the Multiverse. Jon advances his theory that reality television led to President Trump. Music sucks now. Happy Birthday, and cash me outside. How bout dat?
The guys come out the gate hot and immediately and briefly revisit the Johnathan Brandis suicide note. Jon shits fries, Don Rickles dies, and US missiles fly. Rett pulls a real bonehead move and runs out of gas. Jon tells the story of losing his virginity and dealing with the Jesus-guilt that came shortly after he did. There is discussion of the Michael Madsen sex tape, avocados, and racisim. Jon talks about the recent Doug Stanhope show at the Theatre, and TJ talks about the fire in his basement. They discuss they I-85 bridge fire, their favorite Price is Right games, and the comedy of Whoopi Goldberg. There is talk of other podcasts, the Human Rut, and when it is okay to call your significant other a bitch. TJ gives his opinion on ice-water. Jon misuses the word literal. Rett reveals his obsession with the Christian Slater vehicle, Kuffs. And, finally, the guys kick off the Search for Buttman.
Because episode 104 took so long to release (it was Rett's fault), we decided to go ahead and put out a second episode this weekend. BREAKING NEWS - I-85 is on fire, or at least was at the time of this recording. So, the guys open up discussing the dynamics of extinguishing a fire with homeless urine. Also in breaking news, Ga expands its law on CBD oil, which leads to another discussion of drug legalization. There is talk of Jonathan Brandis's suicide note, defecating outdoors, and our need for bidets. TJ has been watching birthing videos. They talk about the NC Bathroom bill and child molesters in general. The guys pay their respect to The Shithouse Poet and Buttman, talk about the March to the Sea, and discuss the marvelous wonders of Cracker Barrel. They answer your letters, talk about Georgia executions, and discuss Scientology numbers and the "How My Dad Was Brainwashed..." movie. But honestly, Rett was too drunk at that point, so the conversation quickly diverts to titties and grizzly bears. Rett starts whispering, and the podcast comes full circle with one word....Sizzler.
First of all, full disclosure, Jon is sick for this one, which of course means that he is switching from beer to rye whiskey. The guys discuss Trump parody porn, Mad Men, and most importantly, Jon's new phone. They talk about Instagram's policy on dookie pictures as well as several recent comedy specials. Rett goes to bat for minorities...again. Talk of Uber ratings and etiquette somehow transitions into examples of orgasm noises. There are some fond memories of Robo-tripping, and Rett recounts his recent annual river trip. Rett also almost got shot at work recently. There is talk of 80's movies, FX's Legion, a circle-back to 80's movies, and a debate on the best male nude fight scenes in cinema. And finally, they circle back to Instagram's dookie policy. Seriously, if someone could let us know what that is, it would be great..
After a bit of a break, the guys convene in The Bunker to talk about Cherry Blossoms, ice dildos, The Philadelphia Incident, and the Malice in the Palace. Rett talks about strep throat, his gigantic tonsils, and his upcoming river trip. Jon talks about Twin Piggy Bowls and Philly Cheesesteaks. Rett gets racist at 17:40 and also introduces a new character named Croatia Cox. There is talk of 311, TV News, and the Oscars. The guys discuss the true merits of "In Vino Veritas", and they talk about sheep balls and British brothers. And there is also some talk about The Legend of Zelda.
TJ talks about shitty circuses. Rett talks about yoga. Jon talks about Philly Cheese Steaks. There is discussion of the weather, New Orleans, and what is new in Trump America, including marijuana laws and backward swastikas on Mexican restaurants. Rett ponders the possibility of taking the battle to some parking lot nazis and offers some great advice if you are planning to attack an Asian. Jon really wants to chest kick someone. And finally, the guys spend some time discussing white privilege, racism as a function of power, and the concept of keeping it real.
Jon hates white people. The guys recap the Super Bowl and talk about immigrants, Trump, and prison wallets. Rett gets racist. Jon recalls a recent trip to Columbia South Carolina to see Dave Chappelle. There is talk of parades, Philly cheesesteaks, and Indiana Jones. And Rett gets racist.
For this very special landmark episode, the guys welcome two old friends back to the Bunker: their most popular guest, Henry Mitchell III, and Sports Survival Analyst Todd. Of course, there is talk of Trump. Rett talks about science, white privilege, and burns. Todd talks sports. The guys offer their predictions for the Super Bowl, and they debate the best halftime shows. TJ offers his keys to great football. There is talk of movies and soundtracks, and the guys remember the music and movie clubs of their childhood. Discussion of race relations and gender relations reveal the fact that Rett is not only racist, but pretty sexist as well. The guys talk about upcoming Beastmode shows, and they discuss filming a follow up documentary: Return of the Lost Children of Rockdale County. Henry tells of his plans for celebrating Black History Month, and in a beautiful and honest moment, Todd thanks him for his service.
This episode was show-title heavy, so here is a list for your enjoyment: Bring the Whiskey. Oh Henry and His Poisonous Nuts. Make Capital Hill a Real Thing. Fuck You Voice of Reason. One Hundred Show Titles. Rocky IV All the Time. My Hand Can't Keep Up. and The Ongoing Problems of White American Males.
In their first podcast since the inauguration, President Trump seems to dominate the conversation. There is talk of The Wall, immigration, punching Nazis, NASA, the inauguration, the Women's March, and how the world sees America. But, there is also talk of sliderules, tornadoes, the Super Bowl, Silverado, and Creature Comforts. Jon ponders whether he would take part in an orgy if Rett were present. Rett does what is probably the most unique terrible Asian accent that you have ever heard. And the guys spend some time discussing positivity and the true meaning of Armageddon Afterparty.
On the eve of the inauguration of our 45th President, the guys got together to talk about some things: the Trump presidency, Trump's cabinet picks, and whether or not he has the ability to cut off the internet. They also discuss Chyna's clitoris, TJ starting a cartel, Rett fisting, and Jon's obsession with Reese Witherspoon's daughter. There is also talk of J Romney, predestination, and crow funerals. They offer terrible reviews of The OA, Rick and Morty, and Star Wars Rogue One. And Rett talks about steak and lesbians.
The guys get together for a bit of a year-end wrap-up show deep in the Bunker. They talk about the upcoming Midville trip, Christmas presents, thrift stores, and Rett's work. There is a small Star Wars dork-out at one point. They remember some of the people that we lost in 2016, and they discuss whether it truly is a sin to kill a ladybug. Jon questions the appeal of both the New York Strip and Publix fried chicken. Rett goes really deep on going really deep on acid.
The guys gather in the Bunker once again to discuss Christmas parties, old memes, Squirrel Busters, and Alabama Housecoats. The talk about solid karaoke songs and offer their opinions on the best and worst Christmas music. Rett tells everyone about his upcoming 4 mile footrace with drinking. Jon has Ethiopian meat burps. Then they spend way too much time talking about TrumpAmerica and Rett's constant state of fear for the United States.
The guys gather once again to discuss some Trump cabinet picks, slumber party games, and Return to Oz...again. Jon breaks down Islam. They talk about marijuana laws and holiday masturbation. Jon defends Scientology. Rett has a dookie finger. There is talk of an Alabama Housecoat. Jon updates the guys on the Oglethorpe County News Facebook page. They talk about Santa, Jesus, bullying, and Rett doing his first feature film. The guys mourn the loss of John Glenn. Rett celebrates the life of the Georgia Peach himself, Ted Williams. A game of "Would You Rather?" leads to TJ recalling his experiences ejaculating into a cup.
It's a couple of days before Thanksgiving, and the guys decided to get together and try their best not to talk about Donald Trump. They mostly succeed. They find out that Tila Tequila is apparently a Nazi. A discussion of green bean casserole somehow leads to a delicate dance on the edge of racism. Rett talks about his newest turkey thawing technique. Jon farts on a loved one. TJ tells tale of getting molested by his cool orthodontist. Rett ponders his next business venture, and the guys discuss the Kardashian Kurse and Koala Kooch. And, the guys spend a little time talking about some things that they are thankful for.
The guys gather in the Bunker for the first time since Donald Trump won the election. So that is pretty much all they talk about. There are a few other things at the end.
The guys gather in the Bunker on the eve of what is arguably the most insane election in recent history, and that is pretty much all they talk about. Also, Rett updates everyone on the recent Alchemy burn.
For this episode, the guys decided to try out the concept of having a central theme for the show. With the Alchemy burn going on this weekend, that theme is "Fire." So of course, somehow a conversation about propeller repair leads to a lengthy discussion of proper plane crash sex etiquette. Rett talks about the contents of Kaopectate as well as the Georigia Guidestones (very briefly). Of course, there is talk of the (not very) Presidential Election as Trump moves toward burning everything to the ground. Rett reviews some of his preparations and a few of his concerns for the burn this weekend.
Finally, an answer to the question that was raised at the end of the last episode - do Jews run Hollywood? And that answer is yes. Of course, this brings up more Mel Gibson talk, which naturally leads into a discussion of the first (not so-) Presidential Debate. Rett talks about the upcoming Alchemy burn and gives an update on the recent fundraiser at Little Kings. There is talk of shirt-cocking, crystals, and Rett's susceptibility to belief without question.
After some time off, the guys finally make their return to the Bunker for another episode. There is talk of Olympic medical records, runner's boner, and CVS sex toys. There's also clowns, Presidential debates, and a few movies. The guys even spend some time discussing 9/11. This may be a very special episode, because the guys also aren't afraid to ask the hard questions: What is the flash point of vaseline? Isn't Switzerland landlocked? Should you even be wearing boots during sex? Is Jon a sociopath? Do Jews really run Hollywood?
ALSO - Thursday, 9/22 at Little Kings. The Automatic Burn Consortium is having a dance party fundraiser with half the proceeds going to The Cottage Sexual Assault and Child Advocacy Center. It will be fun, and it is definitely for a good cause.