In the absence of TJ, Rett and Jon get together and press on without him. There is more talk of the National Anthem Protests. There is also talk of the recent Las Vegas attack and the Second Amendment. They discuss Jon's tactics for dealing with crazies, Tubular Bells, and Perfect Strangers. Jon tries to tell an emergency poo story, but is almost immediately upended by Rett's much better and more interesting saved-an-old-woman-from-choking-at-Taco's story. They issue some RIPs, discuss the fact that the Juice is Loose, and talk about whether TJ really thinks Jon hates him.
In the absence of Jon, Rett and TJ get together to press on without him. There is talk of the National Anthem Protest, Dipping Dots, squirting, and general squirting etiquette. Rett recalls his days as a door-to-door salesman. TJ shits on Helen, Georgia, and they both shit on Trump. They discuss Bladerunner 2049. Rett expresses his fear of a truly awful pun. They talk about owl sex, dolphin penises, and Georgia trivia.
The guys discuss the end of the world this Saturday (spoiler alert: didn't happen). Rett makes fun of fat Jon. They talk about Boybutante Drag Bingo and Trivia at Hi-Lo. Rett ruins waffle cones and takes a surprisingly harsh stance on Mammal Toe. Jon's mother-in-law may be a racist. There is discussion on man-scaping, monkey genitalia, Juggalos, and piss-walking. The guys go deep on the Mr. Hands video and basically just trail off at the end.
The guys welcome friend and frequent podcast guest Henry Mitchell III back to The Bunker, where he immediately and rightfully starts calling them out for a few things from past episodes. They then uncover a massive Carnie pedophile ring. There is talk of the numerous hurricanes currently bearing down on the United States, pooping habits, and college football. Henry provides a Beastmode update, and TJ wonders whether or not Jon hates him.
The guys kick things off by debating the word "tranny" again, which leads Jon to a serious feeling of deja vu. Rett is fascinated with Teen Moms. TJ is fascinated by Amazon. Rett recalls his recent eclipse field trip. Jon asks several butthole-related questions. Rett runs an obstacle course. The guys finally uncover hard evidence of Jon's racism, discuss hotel etiquette, and wonder what Bill Gates jerks off to. They end up with predictions for the Mayweather McGregor fight, discussion of some Jon Jones news, and Hulk Hogan's penis.
Rett finally admits to rubbing his taint on Jon's mic. The guys discuss Charlottesville. Rett loves the eclipse. Jon may or may not out himself as a complete racist. They devote whole sections of the podcast to a single listener. They discuss salsa and sausha and issue a listener challenge. They talk about Westworld, Game of Thrones, the Top Dawg Tavern, and the DEA.
The guys gather once again to talk about the 40 Watt burglary, the mind of your average scumbag, and equine sexual encounters. There is also discussion of nude skydiving and an update on the Trump White House. There are UFC updates, TJ's mom's texts, and bad movies. Rett takes us on a worldwide tour of terrible accents and introduces us to a new persona, Tequila Blanco.
Jon makes his triumphant return to The Bunker with updates from vacation. The guys ponder a Rett vs Rhett battle to the death, and they wonder whether all cops are actually dirty. They talk about Mr. Belvedere, parallel parking, and Rosemary's Baby. Jon is fascinated with a Catholic television channel. Rett drinks cheap whiskey and is fascinated with pegging. They discuss some horrible news stories. There are some Trump updates and talk of Hotel Indigo, goons, and Road House.
On this week's very special episode of The Armageddon Afterparty, Rett and TJ get together in The Bunker to record an episode without Jon. There is talk of sex, mortgages, artificial insemination, torn buttholes, and OJ Simpson. They discuss the planting of evidence, and they go pretty hard on cops and Oglethorpe County. TJ tells a story of taking delaudid, and Rett calls Floyd Mayweather a fag. And, they discuss the point of the podcast.
Rett drops some tequila knowledge, which leads to the now-famous Canadian Hobbits bit, which of course leads the guys to come up with the concept of the Buttmusket. Jon finally gets his hot brown. TJ talks about the McGregor-Mayweather fight. The guys talk about Sammy Sosa's new look, the Westboro Baptist Church, the Amish, and the origin of the name Dick Loverboy. They discuss movie theater masturbation technique and cousin lust, then things just fall apart at the end.
Rett drops some coke knowledge, ponders the ultimate bidet, and tells the Zima and cigarillo story again. Jon gets worked up. The guys discuss the crazy Gwinnett knife bitch, and they ponder the age old question: Krull or Beastmaster? They talk about the G20 protests, Trump fatigue, and terror attacks. They wonder about the spelling of dookie and decade-specific hotness. Rett talks about his river trip and introduces the guys to Man Lard. They talk about Bear Fights, the Georgia Theatre, and Earthworm Jim. And they end up discussing Rett's magnum opus, The Jizzmopper Trilogy.
The guys gather down in The Bunker once again for talk of chanterelles, bugs on cars, and aging comedian rapists. Jon talks about Philando Castille and brings everyone down, then talks about health care in the US and brings everyone down again. The guys talk about Wonder Woman. Rett calls Jon on his oppressive ways as Jon opines on gender equality. TJ shits his pants at work. The guys respond to some tweets, and Rett talks about Six Flags on Acid.
TJ kicks things off by imploring everyone to be nice to members of the service industry. The guys cover the Georgia Prison Bus Escape in real time. Rett discusses this week in America. Jon recounts his recent road trip with the missus. And then shit just really falls apart at the end.
This one starts out with a bang, and by bang, I mean an Amber Alert. Jon gives an I-85 update and tells tale of almost shitting his new pants after a trip to the Dwarf House. TJ talks about a possible foot fetish. Rett and Jon recount their recent kayaking trip. The guys discuss Kathy Griffin, Tiger Woods, and how awesome it is to drive drunk. Jon explores a weird cop paranoia. The guys fondly remember Gregg Allman, Manuel Noriega, and the marriage of Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. They later talk about homeless gay sex and gigantic equine penises, because of course.
The guys start off things talking about this week in TrumpAmerica then follow that up with some new AA theme submissions (big shout out to Blac Gold and Texas T). TJ gives some baby updates. Rett reviews Alien Covenant. Jon provides some more information on the Two Dogs story. They mourn the loss of Roger Moore and tell mushroom stories. Rett gets drunk on whooskey, invents Multiple Scaroscious, calls out Mark Bell, and finally loses his voice for the best possible reason.
The guys gather for the first time since the birth of Baby Pigroast, and boy is there some talk about the birth of Baby Pigroast. Tearing, rock hard placenta, umbilical cutting technique, vagina slime - nothing is off limits. Later, Jon learns that Chris Cornell has died. The guys get an I-85 update, discuss Patriots, and debate the Titty Threshold. There is also talk of porn stashes, Christian guilt, and pee versus poo fetishes. They debate whether one is allowed to be gay and racist, and they swap stories about the proper technique to use to un-stick two dogs who have just had sex.
Once again, your fearless hosts gather in The Bunker to talk about fast food breakfast and the fact that TJ's wife is about to have a child. Rett gets stitches. Jon complains about fake news. The guys talk about North Korea, new baby stench, and blowjob robots. Rett takes a bit of a turn around minute 59. Then, for unknown reasons, Jon brings up Chris Benoit, and Rett brings up Cropsy.
The guys gather in The Bunker and celebrate Jon's birthday the best way they know how: by drinking delicious Irish whiskey. There is talk of movies, Bill O'Reilly, and Monkey Girl. Rett gives a leadership speech and contemplates starting a religious cult. There is a contest. Rett points out that Jon has a big fat head, and there is talk of uncircumcised snacks. TJ brings up Aaron Hernandez's suicide, which of course leads to talk of the Cosby show, which in turn takes us to pivotal moments in history. TJ talks about doing acid and tells stories. Rett talks about the Multiverse. Jon advances his theory that reality television led to President Trump. Music sucks now. Happy Birthday, and cash me outside. How bout dat?
The guys come out the gate hot and immediately and briefly revisit the Johnathan Brandis suicide note. Jon shits fries, Don Rickles dies, and US missiles fly. Rett pulls a real bonehead move and runs out of gas. Jon tells the story of losing his virginity and dealing with the Jesus-guilt that came shortly after he did. There is discussion of the Michael Madsen sex tape, avocados, and racisim. Jon talks about the recent Doug Stanhope show at the Theatre, and TJ talks about the fire in his basement. They discuss they I-85 bridge fire, their favorite Price is Right games, and the comedy of Whoopi Goldberg. There is talk of other podcasts, the Human Rut, and when it is okay to call your significant other a bitch. TJ gives his opinion on ice-water. Jon misuses the word literal. Rett reveals his obsession with the Christian Slater vehicle, Kuffs. And, finally, the guys kick off the Search for Buttman.
Because episode 104 took so long to release (it was Rett's fault), we decided to go ahead and put out a second episode this weekend. BREAKING NEWS - I-85 is on fire, or at least was at the time of this recording. So, the guys open up discussing the dynamics of extinguishing a fire with homeless urine. Also in breaking news, Ga expands its law on CBD oil, which leads to another discussion of drug legalization. There is talk of Jonathan Brandis's suicide note, defecating outdoors, and our need for bidets. TJ has been watching birthing videos. They talk about the NC Bathroom bill and child molesters in general. The guys pay their respect to The Shithouse Poet and Buttman, talk about the March to the Sea, and discuss the marvelous wonders of Cracker Barrel. They answer your letters, talk about Georgia executions, and discuss Scientology numbers and the "How My Dad Was Brainwashed..." movie. But honestly, Rett was too drunk at that point, so the conversation quickly diverts to titties and grizzly bears. Rett starts whispering, and the podcast comes full circle with one word....Sizzler.