Episode 67 - Dingleberry Central

First of all, let me be honest.  This one gets a little weird.  Rett talks about cooking.  Jon wonders if you can huff Raid.  TJ doesn't really hate on anything.  The guys discuss the Planned Parenthood shooting, 50 Shades of Gray, and Wal-Mart.  TJ and Rett discuss no hand pleasure techniques.  And, they ask the hard questions: Is Dave Weiglin a racist? Why do sheep have black buttholes?  What is Jon even talking about?  And, of course, they talk about poop for a bit.

Episode 66 - F*** You, Everybody

For this very special episode, the guys gather in The Bunker once again to talk some Georgia football, Cats vs. Cucumbers, and some moron in Mississippi who attempted to bomb a Wal-Mart over the Confederate Flag.  They also discuss the recent terrorist attacks in Paris.  TJ goes on quite the tear, and expresses his hatred of the following: violent people, Cross Fitters, Ravers, the guy at darts that smelled like a dead animal, people on Facebook, the Paleo diet, organized religion, Jon's hair, P90X, drunk drivers, cough syrup, Axe Body Spray, and the Confederate Flag.  And what does TJ like? Pablo Fucking Escobar.  Seriously.  The guys also talk about the Ronda Rousey fight, some awesome television shows, and Star Wars.

On a serious note, our hearts do go out to all of those affected by the recent terrorist attacks in Paris and around the world.  We implore everyone to not give in to the fear that these people want to inspire with their absolutely heinous actions.  Stay strong.  Love your neighbor.  Don't be a shithead.  Live your life.  

Episode 65 - Don't Never Forget the Holocaust

The guys gather in The Bunker to talk about things once again.  Many, many things.  Georgia football, Coach Mark Richt, Randy Quaid, and the UGA Bomb Disposal Unit.  Rett invents a drink.  Jon talks about the Georgia-Florida trip to Jekyll Island.  TJ gives the Athens Halloween update, including his take on the Wild Rumpus Parade.  There is talk of the Athens Police Blotter, downtown preachers, and of course, the weather.  Rett and TJ reveal what is sure to be their greatest accomplishment: they are coaching youth basketball.  Jon asks if he is a sociopath.  Rett responds by confirming yes, we all are.  

Episode 64 - An Infestation of Ducks

After a delay due to some technical difficulties, the guys once again come together in The Bunker to talk about a UGA game from a couple of weeks ago.  Rett's dad is building a house.  They lament college football's loss of Steve Spurrier.  Jon's uncle Jimmy is sick.  There is talk of Star Wars, Superman vs. Batman, and Charter's new deal.  They discuss the recent news about Playboy.  Jon recounts the Democratic Debates.  They spend some time talking about comedian Steve Rannazzisi, basketball player Lamar Odum, and musician Kanye West.  And Jon, once again, talks about Alaska State Troopers.    

Episode 63 - A Little Ganus in You

The guys come together once again, this time to lick their wounds from the UGA Alabama game.  Rett has started running.  Everything in Jon's life is breaking.  They talk about Halloween, burns, and White People's Katrina.  Burger King has a black whopper.  Then, a discussion of the recent school shooting in Oregon leads to damn near an hour talking about violence and gun control.  They update the listeners on the Republican candidates for President.  And they make the most chill outro in the history of the show.

Episode 62 - The Shart Tank

We know that it has been a while, and we appreciate your patience.  After a bit of a break, the guys reconvene in The Bunker to do they thang.  They catch everyone up on Jon's wedding and bachelor party, and they also spend some time discussing this college football season.  Rett talks about television shows and getting scalped.  TJ wonders if he could make it in federal pen.  Then they start talking politics and the upcoming presidential election.  And finally, in a moment of true inspiration, they encourage others via Periscope to take part in Tugs Across the World.

Episode 61 - Show Somebody Your Ankle Watch

School is back in, Athens.  But school is ALWAYS in down in The Bunker.  Jon apologizes to Michael Bay.  The guys dish on movies, which of course leads to talk of bestiality.  They ponder the wonders of the Internet.  TJ drinks a 25 ounce Budweiser.  Rett promotes Heads or Cocktails.  They discuss the recent turn of events involving Jared Fogle, and they talk about Rett's penis, Dismaland, and art in general.  Plans are made for Jon's bachelor party, which is happening on Saturday August 29 in beautiful downtown Athens.  Tell your friends.

Episode 60 - Playing With The Fruit of Your Loins

First of all, this episode is brought to you by the International Bear Convergence in beautiful Palm Beach, California, February 4-8, 2016.  Click on the link below for more information.  And be sure and tell them that Armageddon Afterparty sent you.

For their 60th episode, the guys discuss when a man should start getting his prostate checked (by a doctor).  This, of course, leads to talk of just where exactly we should be in our lives right now versus where high school Rett thought he would be.  There is talk of kids, credit worthiness, and owning/renting a home.  This, of course, leads the guys to do some planning for Jon's bachelor party.  Also, if anyone has access to a church van, please email us.  Or, tell you what - if anyone even reads these descriptions, email us.  I am really just curious about that.  Later on, the guys discuss the upcoming female Ghostbusters film, which of course leads to a conversation about what Ernie Hudson has been up to these days.

Episode 59 - Major Bidet

For their 59th episode, the guys once again converge in The Bunker for talk of all things spectacular.  After a brief bit of technical difficulty TJ talks about a recent gin-soaked trip to Texas, Rett tells more stories from high school, and Jon talks about Bryan Singer's EPIC pool parties.  TJ also reveals that he has been recently victimized.  Rett comes up with a new nickname, and he also wants to do a remake of The Hardy Boys.  Jon wants to punch a panda.  TJ hates Donald Trump.  And, as it is all winding down, the brown liquor really starts to take hold.  

Episode 58 - We Found a Starfish

For their 58th episode, the guys completely abandon their recent rash of guests and decide to completely focus on themselves for a bit.  Rett talks about his recent vacation and his butthole.  Some maniac wants your support in his efforts to put Outkast on the side of Stone Mountain.  Billy needs your prayers as he recovers from a tragic rope swing accident.  The guys offer insight into the Jamie Hood trial.  Also, Rett plugs Heads or Cocktails, which is happening this Saturday at The Nowhere Bar.  

Episode 57 - Henry Mitchell III Returns -or- This Racism Shit is Killing Me

The guys welcome Henry Mitchell III back to The Bunker for talk of all things metal and racial.  In case you don't remember, Henry is the mastermind behind the bands 10 Fingers Strong and Beastmode, as well as the founder of Athens Georgia's own New Metal Order.  There is talk of some recent news stories, they introduce a new segment called "Ask a Black Guy," and we finally get an answer to that age old question, are we racist?  And the answer is yes.  Yes, we are.

Episode 56 - Mindy Montgomery

For their 56th episode, the guys finally convince  a lady to come down into The Bunker.  There are many things that I could say about Mindy Montgomery.  Most of them would be true.  Brace yourself.  This one gets pretty weird.  

Episode 55 - Somebody Give That Guy a Mouthpiece

For their 55th episode ever, the guys gather in The Bunker to talk about gay marriage, poop, and the movie Left Behind.  Rett shows everyone the Hope Solo nudes, forever altering their opinion of the Women's World Cup.  Jon talks about his balls.  The guys also welcome their good friend Billy into The Bunker for talk of race relations, vibrators, and Rachel Dolezal.  Rett tells tale of his recent trip to the Wazooga Jam, and he spends a little time talking about Heads or Cocktails.  

Episode 54 - You Need a Ride to the Piggly Wiggly? I'll Give You a Ride to the Piggly Wiggly.

The guys welcome local fire artist, bartender, and all-around good guy Russell "Catch" Allen back to The Bunker for talk of all things burn related.  And a few things that are bum related.  Rett pitches an incredible movie idea.  This leads Jon and Rett to engage in a game of "Voice Memo Roulette." The guys discuss cruel and unusual punishment.  Everyone shares stories about turning down blowjobs.  The guys talk about Athfest, consent, and Caitlyn Jenner.  Jon gets racist.  TJ tells a story about pissing himself.  Also, TJ provides some tales from the cleaners.  You guessed it...there's poop involved.  

And, the new episode of Heads or Cocktails will be recording live at the Nowhere Bar on June 11.  Tell all your friends.

Episode 53 - Shingle Tar and Squirrel Poop

The guys come together once again to bring you stories of racist school principals, absorbed twins, and the Multiverse.  They attempt to correct their recent terrible explanation of alternating and direct current.  Pigroast tells about his recent trip to New York City.  Jon wonders whether or not someone farted on the most recent episode of Radiolab.  The guys also talk about train derailments, gay weddings, and being pressure-cooked to death in a tuna factory.  Jon and Rett recount their recent outing to Oglethorpe Fresh for the CD release party for the Redstone Ramblers.  Also, Rett admits that he is a horrible friend.

Episode 52 - Infinite is Infinite

The guys' good friend and occasional lover Ken finally makes his triumphant return to The Bunker for this very special episode.  Ken and Rett sing the praises of Bird Dog Bourbon, then Rett attempts to do simple math.  Jon comes around on President Obama due primarily to an incredible handshake.  The guys spend some time talking about politics, marijuana, and Elon Musk.  They then fail spectacularly in an attempt to explain alternating versus direct current.  Ken speaks on the joys of fatherhood.  Rett brings up the situation in Baltimore, which of course leads to talk of the multiverse.  They tell burn stories and wonder if Ken can truly hypnotize people.  Jon discloses a recently discovered note that drunk Jon had left on his phone the prior evening - simply the word "moosehammer."  Prepare yourselves, survivors.  This one gets pretty weird.

Episode 51 - The Cadillac of Balls

For their 51st episode, the guys once again gather in The Bunker for all sorts of discussion.  They talk about anal administration of illicit drugs and alcohol, cell phones and nut cancer, and Reggae deaths.  They also spend some time discussing Japanese game shows, unicycling, and the upcoming Mad Max and Star Wars movies.  Jon reveals that he is wary of large cats.  Rett recalls his recent experience on stage with Doug Benson.  Later, the guys ponder ways to monetize the podcast, and they engage in a rousing debate over nut cancer versus ass cancer.  

Episode 50 - Our Fiftieth Episode

Wow.  Who would have thought that we would make it this far?  For their landmark 50th episode, the guys once again gather in the Bunker for some lively discussion about all manner of things.  Rett recounts his river trip, TJ reveals that he hates boats, and Jon talks about getting crop-dusted recently in Lowes.  They spend some time talking about Survivorman: Bigfoot, Wu-Tang Clan, and the Murder Kroger.  They recall memories of The Iron Triangle and relive some crazy times at the house on Oak Street.  Jon talks about shooting things off the back porch.  Rett plugs the upcoming Heads or Cocktails 3, and recounts his recent guest spot on Solutions, Not Revolutions, another awesome Athens podcast.  

Episode 49 - Two Machetes and a Huge Boner

Wow, two episodes in a row with erection references in the titles.  Anyway, the guys gather to discuss Rett's recent carpentry, a few of their favorite black performers, and some renovation plans for The Bunker.  They talk about Rett's upcoming river trip, the pros and cons of receiving fellatio while unconscious, and Daylight Saving Time.  A discussion about possible apocalypse scenarios leads Rett to ponder whether he would actually join the cannibal rapists rather than trying to fight them.  Jon gives Rett a secret role play assignment, they debate the color of that damn dress, and they mourn the recent loss of one of their favorite downtown Athens bars, Max (formerly The Max Canada).  Rett also plugs the upcoming "Heads or Cocktails 3." 

Episode 48 - A Roll of Twenties Makes a Fantastic Boner Splint

Goodness gracious, where to begin.... Jon talks about recent trips to Publix and Wal-Mart, and the guys ponder whether anyone actually robs armored cars anymore.  There is talk of weather, power outages, and Farmington Kitty.  Jon reveals a deep need to be snuggled by someone significantly larger than him.    The guys talk about getting old, TJ reveals a poop related issue, and that of course leads to a Shit Story Glory from Rett.  The guys take some time to celebrate the lives of John Denver and Bernie Mac.  Jon says some stupid things, so TJ accuses him of racism.  Rett gives an update on the recent success of Heads or Cocktails 2.  And, there is  a brief discussion of raw nipples.